how do you move your actuator?
if you overwrite your position data of actuator dof, you ignore scene solving,
you can use a spring between actuator reference and actuator dof and move the actuator with force and finally use attach constraint with twoway
Two things came to my mind:
– first what are your units, what is the dimension of your mesh?
– regarding the Attach constraint, you should activate the option twoWay : if you want to the attach constraint to propagate forces on both objects.